Tagged: humor

September 26, 2011

Every Song Tells A Story: My Own Private Babylon

The Story

This song is about an aging rock star, sung from his point of view. He’s an amalgam of sorts. I guess you could say he’s based on a few characters, both real and fictional.

One of those would definitely be WASP’s Chris Holmes. I am by no means a big fan of WASP but Holmes was famously interviewed for the documentary, The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years, during which he floated on a raft in a pool (fully clothed) guzzling three different bottles of vodka (and also pouring it over his head). He referred to himself as a “full-blown alcoholic” and even a “piece of crap”. He said he’d probably be dead in a few years and didn’t seem to care. This was all in front of his mother, mind you, who sat poolside trying to maintain her composure.

I guess there’s also a little Joe Walsh in this song. His big hit “Life’s Been Good” also covers the same subject matter. I think I tried to capture a little of his humor in my song. He has a line that goes, “I’m making records, my fans they can’t wait. They write me letters, tell me I’m great.” I have a similar line about devoted fans that keep me so rich, I haven’t done a thing in years. Of course, the “me” is the character and not really me. Wouldn’t that be nice.

There’s definitely some (older) Elvis Presley in the song. The list goes on. You can take any pompous rock and roll star and adapt them as you see fit, I suppose.

Structurally, the song is a musical transcription of an interview, I suppose. The aging rocker has allowed a journalist into his home. The rocker is quite friendly but clearly not sober, even directing his assistants (Hey, Pierre – don’t put that there…) while showing the reporter around his mansion.

He’s had enough success that he doesn’t really need to work anymore, but he’s completely bored and depressed. He’s hardly ever in the news except for the rare gossip column where he makes a drunken fool of himself. In fact, he’s really happy to have this interview, which is probably the first one he’s had in years. People aren’t interested in him anymore, which is why he’s depressed and suicidal – yet still partying it up like a madman.

The unfortunate truth is he’s waiting around to die. He drinks way too much, does every drug put in his face, has totally let himself go and yet, he’s still here. He can’t seem to figure out why. I know it’s grim but hey, I just write them as they come to me.

There’s some commentary about the music scene itself in the lyrics. Popular music has a way of changing quickly and ferociously leaving many who cannot adapt behind. I always envisioned the song’s protagonist to be one of these people. He’s perhaps the aged rocker who is not quite as relevant as he once was, trying to deal with the new music scene. Underneath it all, though, he’s quite depressed and even suicidal. The line about trying to check out before the real hurting starts refers to this.

I had a lot of fun writing this one because I was writing it as a character, much like acting in a play. Once I became the character, the words just poured out and what you hear in the song is what was written that same day, pretty much unchanged. The melody made itself known as I was writing the lyrics so when it came time to record, there wasn’t much left to compose.

While the song is a bit dreary under the covers, it was actually written to be a bit humorous and tongue-in-cheek on the surface. It’s a satirical look at celebrity and what goes along with it, nothing more.

The Recording

This was a quick one to record. I already had the song in my head when I sat down to play the drum track so all I had to do was throw in the fun stuff like accents and stops, some of which were simply made up right there on the spot. I like to do that, actually. It’s fun trying to record around and on top of a drum track once it’s done.

The small riff that is repeated in this song was composed while recording the bass track. Sometimes, when I record bass directly after the drums, I do a lot of composing via bass. The rhythm section completes the foundation and sets the tone for everything else recorded afterward. The little riff just happened by accident here and decided to stick around for the duration.

The bridge was also composed at this time. While recording the drum track, I knew I wanted a bridge of some kind for the song but didn’t know what to play in that space. I wondered what would happen if I just played a slower part there instead. In the end, that’s what I did but I didn’t know what would be there musically, only that there would be a slower part in the bridge. There wouldn’t be any lead vocal either, I decided. So, while playing the bass track, I went from C to E twice and then from G to A twice. It sounded weird to me at first but it grew on me.

There are both acoustic and electric guitars on the track. The acoustic was added to fill out the sound a little but also to provide a different tone than the usual electric noise. You can hear it pretty well in the bridge. These were all quick takes and fun to play.

Rounding out the sound are some keyboards. You’ll hear mostly organ sounds but there are a few cool things going on in the bridge. It’s mostly stock stuff but fairly effective.

I admit that I had a lot of fun with the backing vocals. I had a few people tell me I need to do more with backing tracks so I tried to hunker down and put some really good “Ahhhhs” in there. I was very happy with the way they came out after a couple of hours screaming in my living room.

The lead vocal was a breeze for me. It felt more like talking than singing and I think the result really worked. The cocky rock star thing comes off and I think people can recognize the character and the message, whether they just have a laugh at his expense or see some of the issues underneath.

I always get comments about the little ad-libs at the end. I’m not sure where they came from. They were spontaneously yelled out while recording. You can interpret them any way you like. Are they they ramblings of a drunken, aging rock star who forgot he was giving an interview and thought he was actually on a stage? Maybe he feels he always IS on a stage? Is he the last of his kind? You make the call. Good night, New Jersey.

Lyrics

Take it in – Have a swim
I’ll watch your face with a polite grin
I confess – It’s a mess
Take off your gloves I’ll never pass that test

Still alive – flying high
Trying to burn out but not fade away
Hey Pierre – Don’t put that there
I might fall down and bust my derriere

Don’t know how I get through the day
I’m tired, I’m hungover, and you’re in my way
Don’t try to save this ship I’m on
I’m just living in style in my own private Babylon

It’s a simple thing – I’m the king
I don’t throw parties, people bring them to me
What the hell? What’s that smell?
Something’s dead in the roach motel

I got five master bedrooms
I got three heated pools
I got my own bowling alley
I got a helicopter on the roof

I got fans so devoted
I can make them spray tears
They’re keeping me so rich
I haven’t done a thing in years

Talent is irrelevant
It’s all about how you look
There’s no need for me to read
Because I wrote the book

I bet you don’t think
I see this hole in my heart
I’m just trying to check out
Before the hurting starts

Lou's News / Music

November 10, 2010

The Ten Commandments of Rock

A friend shared this funny list with me and I thought I’d pass it on to all of my (three or four) readers. I did not write it but I sure agree with just about all of it! Enjoy!

***

The Ten Commandments of Rock

1. Thou Shalt Not Preach

Yes, just like you, we’re concerned with Global Warming, Free Speech and the Third World . But we paid to hear you sing and play!

2. Thou Shalt Play The Hits

If you’re a band that has 20 or more charted songs, we want to hear 10 hits before you play some new song we don’t know, or that deep track from the album that no one bought that you love so damn much!

3. Thine Opening Act Shalt Relate

If you’re going to have an opening act, find one that plays the same style of music as you do. George Harrison could get away with Ravi Shankar, you can’t. Nor can you give us some half assed hip hop bands…we came to rock!

4. Thou Shalt Know What City You’re In

Enough Said!

5. Thou Shalt Own A Timekeeping Device

Our tickets say 8 o’clock show. That means at 8:01 we want someone to be playing music LIVE on stage. Use this same timekeeping device for set changes and encores. Don’t go take a shower and have a sandwich while we’re all out here clapping.

6. Thou Shalt Play The Original Version (The Layla Commandment)

We came to hear the kick ass version you originally recorded, not some mamby pamby slow version. So unless you promoted this as an all acoustic show, if it rocked the first time, it better rock tonight!

7. Thou Shalt Not Play Medleys

Hey, make a decision. Play the old stuff or don’t play the old stuff. Don’t put five of your first singles in a half-assed 5 minute medley and think you did your job.

8. Thou Shalt Replace Correctly

We understand this is Rock and Roll. It’s a rough life. People die young or they check themselves into Betty Ford and never check out. We get it. But, if you get a new singer, try to make the effort that he should at least kinda sorta fit the band.

9. Thou Shalt Sing And Not The Audience

We didn’t pay $200 for a pair of tickets just to hear 20,000 drunken people try to remember words from 30 years ago! It’s your mic – you sing into it!

10. One Man Doth Not Make A Band

Even if you are an original member. If the band originally had five members and now you’re the only one touring YOU’RE NOT THE BAND!

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?created&&note_id=454455246260

Lou's News / Music

April 23, 2010

Every Song Tells A Story: Corporate Robot

The Story

I enjoy humor in music. There are times to be cerebral and there are times to be just plain funny. I like making people laugh with a goofy lyric or idea. This song was meant to be humorous, of course, but underneath it all lies a thinly veiled satirical commentary on corporate America.

The underlying theme in “Corporate Robot” is of conflict. I’ve been working in corporate America now for a long time but I’m not a fan of the corporate mentality that you find in some places. I’ve worked for many companies; some of them big giants and some smaller. In each, I’ve found a different “company culture” statement (written behind closed doors in some HR department) which in most cases totally contradicts what goes on in the hallways and at the water coolers.

Some companies I’ve worked for were so rigid and quiet that there was hardly any communication at all except via computer or at meetings. In other places, there were definitely cliques of people and if you were not in that group, you lost out. At some jobs you didn’t dare talk to someone who had an office unless they came to speak to you (which was rare). At other jobs, the top dogs were the friendliest people, while the mid-level managers were micromanaging, power hungry ego maniacs who basically did nothing all day, much like Lumbergh from Office Space.

In fact, Mike Judge hit the nail so hard on the head with that film that it’s a wonder that film didn’t change the company culture of corporate America as a whole. Like a wake-up call. But I digress.

I’ve also had some good experiences in corporate America but to be honest, it’s just not a fun place. Depending on where you are, you have to basically sit around for a year or two and just observe people before you know who you can talk to and who you can’t. There are walls everywhere.

There’s also this false sense of what they call “professionalism” which apparently means you can’t be human. Everything has to be sterile and controlled. Mechanized. By the book. Robotic.

So after a few years out there, I realized that I don’t really work with people, for the most part. I work with robots. Corporate Robots. At times, I’d notice that as you went up the ladder, this applied more and more. It seems that folks got phonier the higher they climbed the company ladder. They became more clueless and detached somehow, like celebrities who have lived so long in their little bubbles that they can’t be real people anymore when they go out into crowds. They have an alternate sense of reality and can’t adapt.

Now, I’ll admit that the place I’m at now is not really like this. There are definitely walls and some rigid people but for the most part everyone’s cool, all the way up the ladder. The project I’m working on, actually, is going to try to break down some of those walls. So that makes me excited.

Still, all these years in corporate America (especially jobs I had before this one) have affected me and my thinking. I’ve seen some strange stuff and some really odd behavior from people who were paid very well and claimed to be “professionals”.

So that’s basically what this song is about. It’s about having to pay the bills and being stuck in corporate America doing so. Let’s face it. We all have dream jobs and for a high percentage of us, what we’re currently doing is not what we’d like to be doing. I’d sure like to be able to make music all day long, whether it be scoring films, making records, writing for other people, and so on. That’s just not going to happen for me at this point (without being able to dedicate 100% of my time to it), so here I am doing web design and managing portals. It’s decent work but not as fun as playing guitar. Hence the lyric, “I’m stuck in this world.”

The song is also about the creepy people you sometimes see in the hallways that pretend not to see you, the bosses who can never leave their work at the office and enjoy life, and the feeling like you’re slowly becoming one of these people; part of the machine.

Again, it’s meant to be humorous and I got a little serious while writing this. It’s not that I’m feeling all of this at the moment. I actually just liked the term “Corporate Robot” (I had been using it for years) and the rest of the song just sort of flowed from there. Maybe I was having a bad day at work. Who knows.

I tried to throw in some “corporate speak”, as it’s called. Offices have this strange little bit of vernacular that they like to make use of. Phrases like “low hanging fruit” (the goals easiest to achieve in a shorter time) are heard regularly. Of course, I had to throw a Starbucks reference in there. Corporate America basically keeps that place in business and Starbucks itself is pretty much the IBM of coffee.

The bits about the admins and conference rooms are all based on real events that got stuck in my head. People will walk past you in the office, look you in the eye, and not acknowledge you. It’s like they have to have a reason to say hello. Usually that reason is that they need something from you. I could go on all day.

Sometimes you just have to laugh. Or write a song.

The Recording

“Corporate Robot” was actually a fun song to record. I knew from the start that I did not want cymbals on it, outside of hi-hat. I wanted it to be stiff and robotic but I did not want to use a sample of myself or a loop. The song is more about the conflict and trying not to become a robot than about the existing robots themselves. So I wanted the drum track to be stiff and robotic but still somewhat human. Besides, I’m not really that into drum loops. I’d rather just play a drum track than sit there and edit fills for days.

I recorded the drum track, fighting the urge to hit the crashes on the one or wherever my gut would tell me to. I already had the beat in my head so it was easy to bang it out. I just sang along to myself in my head to keep track of where I was. I had a guide chart on a stand to help me.

I added the bass shortly after, which I also had in my head. I wanted the bass to drive the song because I knew there wasn’t going to be much guitar on it. I wanted a funky guitar chord that I would bang on the two with a little variation here and there. I worked out some chord that sounded right and fired up the tele with a nice clean sound. Before I knew it, the basic tracks were done.

It felt like it needed something else, though. Enter the Rhodes. I had purchased a used 1970’s Fender Rhodes some time in the early 1990’s and had been lugging this thing from home to home for years. If you’ve ever seen one of these beautiful monsters, you know they’re big and heavy. I even had a huge road case with wheels for it. Well, at that point in time I had been trying to sell it and had it set up to take a few pictures. It was almost as if it were saying to me, “Hey, I know you don’t want me any more but why not use me one last time?”

So I plugged the thing directly into my Mac and it sounded beautiful. I had fun coming up with some little parts for the song. The bridge is just straight chords. The little solo piece after that really added some life to the song, but not too much life. I even harmonized it a little for fun. Then there’s a different section for the outro based off some E chord. It all just fell together.

Of course, a few days later the Rhodes and the road case were sold and shipped off to Romania. Wild! I used most of the money to pay off some of the Mac and with the rest I picked up a midi controller so I could add things like pianos, horns and strings to anything I wanted to record. One door closes, another opens.

When it came to vocals, I had two ways I could go. I could have sung it normally or robotic. I opted for the latter but I had this issue where I wasn’t sure if people would get the idea. I knew it would sound very “monotonic” and I had hoped that people would know this was on purpose. I didn’t want people to hear it and think, “Does he really sing that poorly?”

So after a good 30 seconds of deliberation (I don’t like wasting time with decisions like that), I just went and sang it like a robot. I even added a little deep robot backing vocal here and there. Tons of fun, really.

“Where’s the plug? Come on pull it,” came out of my subconscious while I was ad-libbing at the end, but I guess it really does sum things up in a way. Unplug the robot. Be human.

Lyrics

Don’t wanna be no corporate robot
Don’t wanna hear about low hanging fruit
Don’t wanna kiss up to a bitchy admin
So I can get the better conference room

Walk past you in the hallway
Look you right in the eye
You look anywhere but my way
Would it kill you to say HI?

Corporate Robot – you’re lifeless and cold
Corporate Robot – you do what you’re told
Corporate Robot – you live by the code
Corporate Robot – it’s old old old

Every day that I’m here
I feel a piece of me slipping away
Replaced by wires and machinery
Transformation is taking place

When you go home to your dependents
Do you know how to be human at all
Do you forget you’re not in the office
Schedule some kid-time to throw around a ball

Got a meeting
Got a voice mail
Got a budget to pass
Got a new hire
Got a new tie
Got a stick up my ass

Got no time
Got no humor
Got no changing moods
Got no patience
Got no guts
Got no idea what I do

The corporate robots line up every day
They get their Starbucks and they pay pay pay
Corporate robots talk in dull corporate speak
Corporate robots think they’re smarter than me

There’s no humanity
There’s no reality
It’s like a B-Movie
It’s killing me

I’m stuck in this world
Gotta find me a corporate girl
Where’s the plug?
Come on pull it