The Ten Commandments of Rock

A friend shared this funny list with me and I thought I’d pass it on to all of my (three or four) readers. I did not write it but I sure agree with just about all of it! Enjoy!

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The Ten Commandments of Rock

1. Thou Shalt Not Preach

Yes, just like you, we’re concerned with Global Warming, Free Speech and the Third World . But we paid to hear you sing and play!

2. Thou Shalt Play The Hits

If you’re a band that has 20 or more charted songs, we want to hear 10 hits before you play some new song we don’t know, or that deep track from the album that no one bought that you love so damn much!

3. Thine Opening Act Shalt Relate

If you’re going to have an opening act, find one that plays the same style of music as you do. George Harrison could get away with Ravi Shankar, you can’t. Nor can you give us some half assed hip hop bands…we came to rock!

4. Thou Shalt Know What City You’re In

Enough Said!

5. Thou Shalt Own A Timekeeping Device

Our tickets say 8 o’clock show. That means at 8:01 we want someone to be playing music LIVE on stage. Use this same timekeeping device for set changes and encores. Don’t go take a shower and have a sandwich while we’re all out here clapping.

6. Thou Shalt Play The Original Version (The Layla Commandment)

We came to hear the kick ass version you originally recorded, not some mamby pamby slow version. So unless you promoted this as an all acoustic show, if it rocked the first time, it better rock tonight!

7. Thou Shalt Not Play Medleys

Hey, make a decision. Play the old stuff or don’t play the old stuff. Don’t put five of your first singles in a half-assed 5 minute medley and think you did your job.

8. Thou Shalt Replace Correctly

We understand this is Rock and Roll. It’s a rough life. People die young or they check themselves into Betty Ford and never check out. We get it. But, if you get a new singer, try to make the effort that he should at least kinda sorta fit the band.

9. Thou Shalt Sing And Not The Audience

We didn’t pay $200 for a pair of tickets just to hear 20,000 drunken people try to remember words from 30 years ago! It’s your mic – you sing into it!

10. One Man Doth Not Make A Band

Even if you are an original member. If the band originally had five members and now you’re the only one touring YOU’RE NOT THE BAND!

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